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January 29, 2006
Romans 12: 1-2
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12: 1-2
This week I have really fought off depression. Matt has been looking for a new teaching job (the big decision I talked about earlier), so he's been working hard every night to put together resumes and various applications while I try to do everything around the house that I couldn't do during the day. On top of that, we're still potty training, I haven't been sleeping very much, the kids are sick, and Clara is starting to be colicky. Over the last week and a half she's started to be pretty fussy at night. Sometimes she starts fussing at 7 and cries to 9, but the other day she cried practically all day.
So, what does this have to do with the Bible verse above? Well, on Thursday night, the stress got so bad that I shut down and started to get angry and depressed. I was mad at everybody, Clara, Matt, the kids, myself, and God. I felt like a robot, not like a human being. That's why I was so thankful that Dan, my pastor, sent out the church bulletin ahead of time for me to read. On it was the meditation for this Sunday, which is Romans 12. It helped me to remember why and how I do what I do. The world wants us to believe that my life is for me and that anything that hurts me or stresses me out should be removed from my life. God reminded me through His word that my life is an offering to Him, a living sacrifice. By it's very nature, my life isn't for me, it's for God. When I pour myself out for my family, I'm only able to do that, because God poured Himself out for me, into me. When I understand that, then I understand my purpose and I can see His will for me. He wants me to be a good wife and a good mother and when I offer myself as a "living sacrifice" to Him, he helps me to do what I could never do without Him. I'm so thankful for this, because deep inside I know that I'm a pathetic excuse of a mother without God (I tried doing things my way this week and it was scary). Yet again, I've found the depths of my sinful heart. It's comforting to know that there's hope and my life isn't purposeless. I may not be on the physical mission field, but my work at home (changing diapers, nursing my baby, potty training, washing/folding/putting away laundry, washing dishes, disciplining my children, serving my husband) is a "spiritual act of worship". I don't feel unimportant and forgotten about anymore. The result, I hope, will be a more joyful heart, with God's help.
I will end with a quote from Veggie Tales that Dana is really fond of repeating lately. "God made you special and he loves you very much." It's simple but it's the truth.
| By Karen | 08:56 PM
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Comments
that was our 'verse' that we used as a focal point when Sara and I still did Jr. High youth work at New City.
It's packed with a great deal - unpacking and living it takes a lot of grace and dependence upon the work of the Cross.
take care you all.
Posted by: stelmodad at January 29, 2006 09:22 PM
I don't know how into the concept I am of having a "life verse," but if I were choosing one then Rom. 12:1-2 would be a top contender (hence my blog name...and sometimes tag line).
Thanks for sharing this story--both as a personal testimony and as a reinforcement of the decision to pre-distribute the order of worship.
Posted by: Scott at January 30, 2006 12:08 AM
this is a great reminder. thanks for being open enough to reveal the things that give you perspective. i am often in need of this, too...i have also missed seeing you on wednesdays and would love to get together sometime soon!
Posted by: amber at January 30, 2006 08:56 PM
Colicky baby? Reagan had Colic. Days dragged on into weeks and nothing would comfort her. The grandparents recommended catnip tea (available at your local health food store) but we didn't want to subject Reagan to unscientific old wives tales. Reagan's pediatrician at the time scoffed at the idea. The medicines did not work, she was as inconsolable as ever even after doses of the simethicone drops. In desperation we decided to try the herbal remedy. Four ounces of catnip tea at bedtime, sweetened with Karo corn syrup as honey is a no-no for babies. That night Reagan slept through the night for the first time in weeks. She woke up happy and alert as ever. This began a routine that would last for the remainder of her infancy. We changed pediatricians a short time after starting the tea, and told him that we gave it to her. He said that since it was working to keep it up, there was nothing in it that could hurt her. He had heard the same story many times. That is my colic story. I know how harrowing it can be, both Clara and you are in my prayers.
Posted by: Steven at February 1, 2006 01:08 PM