My house is a mess

Stressing about those late night decisions is the worst! I completely feel for you. I would say that it might be a good idea to decide which direction you are going to go with her, are you letting her cry it out or for survivals sake should you feed her at night for the next few months. If you feel like she could make it through the night with maybe another feeding crammed into the day (I can't remember how much they eat at 4 months) then it might mean an unpleasant week of hearing her cry but eventually you might have the sweet experience of a full nights sleep. But if thats too hard on you at this point then resolve yourself to feed her and don't be hard on yourself. I felt like Andy and I were reassessing every other night whether or not someone was ready to cry it out, or were they getting a tooth, or should we get them just this once. If you have a plan at night even if its to feed her, then you might be a little less stressed and then you can decide again next month how you should deal with her. I am certainly no expert, our kids did not follow the "Baby Wise" schedule at night but they are both sleeping through the night now at 1 and 3, so just adjust things to work for your family. Hope that all didn't sound too preachy or opinionate.
Keep up the good work!

Thanks. That is very helpful. I think that's been a lot of the problem, at least on our end. We were pretty faithful baby-wisers up until baby #3. However, Clara (#3) has really challenged all of our ideas about caring for a baby. She's been fussier, and much more difficult to figure out than the other two. She nurses about 5 times during the day, and usually wakes up once to nurse in the middle of the night. For a four month old she seems well fed and she's huge. When she wakes up and wants to nurse more often than normal, I'm left wondering. Do I need to train her to soothe herself back to sleep, or do I need to trust that she'll figure it out on her own? I think I just need to pray about this one and come down on one side or the other. Thanks for the advice. It really does help to clarify the confusion.

I hear you. I've dealt with the whole sleep thing almost every night of my son's short life so far (almost 11 mos).
I've not really been into babywise, mostly because I read horror stories about it before I even read the book. Scared me.
But I have read around on the sleep thing, because sleep eludes my little boy. One book that has been pretty helpful has been _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley. Like Jenn suggested, she helps you understand a variety of sleep issues, how to observe your child's own sleep issues, and how to come up with and implement a more satisfactory sleeping situation. It takes more work than crying-it-out, so it depends on what you're up for and what you're willing to do. Personally, I've committed to not crying-it-out with Ellis. Some of my thoughts with him is that crying is a form of communication and that, for us, communication is at a premium since he is a deaf. I like the book, because it helps you figure out how to train the child to sleep rather than the sink-or-swim approach of crying-it-out. *shrug*

Practically, if it's pre-teething/teething/whatever, sometimes Hyland's teething tablets help soothe. They're homeopathic and contain chamomile and a couple of other ingredients. Sometimes I give them just for soothing. I've also heard that sometimes when a baby goes through a growth or developmental spurt they need an extra feeding at night and then will settle back out again when the spurt is over. I've also read about different personality types and sleeping. Some more extroverted types hate sleeping because it shuts out their world while more introverted types relish going into their own private world of sleep.

Ultimately you know what's best for your kid and your family (and you!), and I'm sure that whatever you do will be wonderful. Hang in there, Karen! You rock!!!

p.s. Ellis did that same tummy-back thing and it drove me crazy!!! Hang in there: he now rolls all over the crib at night without waking up. :-)